Courtesy begets strange looks

I have started to believe that my country, the one I love with all my heart is strange in some ways.

I'm referring to the concept of courtesy. To be honest, I must admit that I was not used to being courteous during my childhood days.

Courtesy was limited to the mandatory wishes of Good morning/afternoon at school and a Thank you sometimes when a relative chose to buy you a gift.

It was a cultural shock for me first when I moved to college. I studied in a college right in the middle of Tamil Nadu in a lush green city called Thanjavur (Tanjore). People there were extremely courteous and I'm referring to fellow students and hostel mates hailing from rural areas or other places that were not Madras (the capital city where I hail from)

Everyone addressed each other with the respect they accorded an elder. I was first taken aback at this rather undue respect I was getting from friends and alike.

The practice I thought would change over the years once we got to know each other better. Boy, I was wrong. Their language stayed the same right through.

I was initially ashamed at myself for being such an uncouth and for using a friendly language (with da's and other innuendos) while I was being some strange respect.

Soon, I picked up the 'skill' and started speaking in the same tongue as the other. Now, speaking of tongues, each district in Tamil Nadu has its own dialect of Tamil and each one spoke with a characteristic vernacular accent. Soon enough, I was using the same vernacular by closely watching them.

Fast forward 2001 and I returned from my stint abroad slogging for an NRI. Back home , all smiles that I don't have to go to a foreign land again, made the first mistake .

I said 'Thank you' to the customs officer who cleared my passport and 'officially' let me into the country.

He stared back and said with his eyes 'Move on'..

The hanger in my mouth (of course the silly smile) vanished in a sec and I was glum.. 'Did I say anything wrong.. ?" i asked myself.

I moved on thinking to myself and shrugged it off when I could not find a sane reason.

This trend continued.. I was driving to work and stopped at an intersection and waved the other car to go. I did this with a smile.

Here is what happened. The other car passes slowly with the driver giving an intent look at me and he stops the car sticks his head out of the window and stares at me with a nasty look on his face..

Him: 'Enna...'.. (What?)

Me: Onnum illaye... (Nothing ).. smiling

Him: Pinna .. ennathukku kaya kaya aatina?(Then why did you shake your hands)

Me: Illa neenga ponga .. piragu naan poren'u sonnen (I just said you go first and I will follow you)

Him: Aan... enakku poikka theriyumm..nee onniyum sollitharavenaa... puriyudha... oyinga poi seru.. summa.. .. kaalila torture pannitu.. (you dont have to teach me how to go.. I will find my way.. understand?.. torturing me in the morning)..

Me: Stunned into silence

Fast Forward 2009: The door bell rang and a stranger stood opposite me.

Him: Edhir flat watchman sir naanu (I'm the watchman from opposite flat)

Me: seri.... (Ok.. )

Him: Sir'dhaan seceratary'a (Are you the secretary?)

Me: aama (yes)

Him: Unga flat'la car parking free'a irukku illa.. adhula enga flat vandi vittukalaama (You have unused car parking slots in your building. Can we rent it)

Me: Illaenga.. enga association'la adhukku anumadhi kedayaadhu.. mannikanum.. ennaala thanippata muraila endha maatru mudivum solla mudiyaadhu.. mannikanum (Our association does not allow for outside vehicles to be parked in our premises. Please accept my apology for not being able to help you. I do not have any special authority to overrule residents wishes even I'm the secretary. Please accept my apologies)

Him: Saar.. enna solreenga neenga periya vaarthayellam. (Why are you speaking big words.. apologies and all)

Me: .... (...)

Him: Seri sar naan varen (Ok sir, I will leave now)

Me :Ok

Whats with courtesy in this country? are not watchmen, electrician eligible for respect? What's wrong if a watchman or an electrician or a plumber is accorded a respect due for say, a neighbour? Why do we have such a graded system of respect.

We have one level for neighbours, another for watchmen and drivers. yet another for our children's school principal. yet another special one for according one who is about to take a decision on subject of our interest. such as the driving inspector before the driving test. The college principal when asking for a seat, the bank manager before a loan.

While I wrote of the unexpected reactions from people for courtesy they did not expect, I did not write about those that people expect, like in the situations I have explained above. They would be rather unsavory and i chose to leave them out. You can imagine what it would have been.

I dream of a day not too distant in future when every Indian accords the basic courtesy and respect to others irrespective of the nature of the work they do or the region of the country they belong to or the position they hold in an organization or their current disposition to our cause.

The truth in advertisements

I wonder why consumers dont believe the only advertisements that speak the truth!
Yeah, am talking about the tobacco advertisements. They shout that you will die if you use their products.
But consumers seem to think... 'Uh huh... good one.. give me a six pack of those..'

Finally, after twenty years of abuse, when you end up sitting opposite a glum doc who is shaking his head with your medical examination report in his hand and hear
' you have a malignant tumour in the lower lungs that has reached its secondary stage.. "

you go.. "yeah.... right.. " with big doses of nods.. with an equally intense look.. and follow up with..
" whats that..?"....
Doc looks up with a look that mixes "oh dear" and .. "Oh you are stupid.." and says .. " you are going to die!!!"
"But, am only 45 doc.. "
"yeah., you are too young to die, but you've contracted cancer in the lungs and its too late for a cure.."
That's when it dawns on you .. the advertisements indeed spake the truth! If you think that they have been humbled by the moment of truth! Oh boy! you are wrong!

Sue the tobacco companies!! For they deliberately made me ignore those warnings with enticing advertisement themes that somehow made them to those big bold fonts and the sign of skull on the pack! ha ha ha.. going to get rich.. payback time folks!!!! I'm going to get back all the money i paid for those six packs!!! ha ha ha... .

Soon in the death bed, surrounded by sons and daughters who have caught on the habit as well and have just stepped back from their tenth puff for the day, and who are equally deaf and blind to the consequences of the vice as you were, whom you cannot reprimand for you were a slave of the same vice, you realize that you have not only killed yourself, you have also deliberately endangered your children who are also on the same road to death by their own hands, you realize the gravity of the situation. That one day when you were sixteen and had gone out with the boys who were trying out a new fad.. Why not? Let me give it a puff.. i don't want to sound uncool by not joining the gang.. that one moment in lapse of judgment... Wish life had an undo button!

The enigma called Indira

I was all of 9 years old when the then prime minister of India was gunned down by her own body guards! I still remember a deep sense of sympathy i felt for the first time towards a third person's family. I stayed glued to the television watching her entire funeral procession and the sober faces of the family members.
As I grew up , I have learned a little bit more than I knew at that age. All of them hear say and read from magazines, I must admit. It appears to me that she is an enigma of a woman.
Bold, daring and courageous to some, ruthless , conniving and autocratic to others. The bias has always been extreme.
Recently we observed her 25th death anniversary with a mark of reverence and media going on a full blitz to sing her laurels.
I happened to chance across a local congress veteran's( Mr.Peter Alphonse ) interview to the state run channel. He gave some very insightful answers to Indira's life that we would have never otherwise understood. I have tried to reproduce here what I have gathered from the interviews.
-The humility of Indira Gandhi
The local congress had a new chief who had been vested with the responsibility of preparing for the election campaign launch in the south in a village near Tirunelveli. He had ensured that the stage was set and all the arrangements were made for her security and the electronics were working and the press duly in attendance.
Mrs.Gandhi arrived with her entourage by road from Madurai and took the stage. As soon as she sat down, she gestured to the local congress leader and said,
"Mr.Peter, Can I have a cup of Coffee Please"
Peter was aghast! he had thought of everything for the meeting, but the refreshments for the guest. To his dismay he realized that he had nowhere to go and get a cuppa for the whole village had shut down its business to see Mrs.Gandhi.
He then saw a cycle born vendor who was selling tea and coffee to the crowd seated below. He runs to the vendor and manages to get a cuppa in a soiled glass. He was terrified to think that he was going to give the dirty cup to the great leader.
He goes and gives this to Mrs.Gandhi who looks at the cup and then at Mr.Peter and with a smile she says, "Thank you Mr.Peter" and just quietly sips it.
He was humbled to think that not even a murmur or a sigh had escaped her mouth! To think that small town leaders fuss and throw a ruckus at even the hint of anything less than the grandest, he admired that he had such a humble leader! She had in turn won over the life time membership of a local leader.
He is no more the local congress leader, but to this day, he remains a staunch Congress worker working at the grass roots level.
-Operation Blue star.
This one operation proved to be her nemesis. In the earlier days after the military marched into the most revered Sikh complex and carried out a flush operation to evict the terrorists who had made the temple their bastion, she received a note from her security advisor that said.
"Madam, in the recent review of your security arrangements we have noted that most of your personal body guards are from the Sikh community. 'm afraid that there is an element of higher risk due to this fact given the current public resentment against operation Blue Star. We request your approval to a change of your body guards....." it said.

Mrs.Gandhi wrote in the note
"..thank you for your note. I have taken an oath to be up-hold the secular thread of this great nation and I choose to live as an example. I have the utmost trust in my personal guards and I have no desire for them to be replaced. Doing so will be the worst act of disrespect to the Sikh community..."
Her trust proved to be in vain, however, her principles were something to behold in the highest honor.

-Where did she get her grit
Indira Gandhi was born into a family of freedom fighters. Her father, mother, grandfather and grandmother were all leaders of the great Gandhian movement for freedom and as a consequence spent several years in prison.
Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru through the nine years he spent in prison, wrote her letters to ensure that she did not miss her father. The letters are now available as a book as 'Brief glimpses of world history'
Indira Gandhi grew up with none of her parents by her side and managed her own affairs and attained tremendous levels of political shrewdness even at a young age. She grew up watching and learning from her fathers decisions and mistakes on the world stage and strengthened her understanding of world politics much before she held any post of authority.
China's betrayal only furthered her steeliness and resolve to be an iron woman of India. This reflected on her strategic thinking and can be seen in her moves to free Bangladesh which today is a peaceful nation.
One would shudder to imagine the scenario had it still been a part of Pakistan and suffered the same evils of what Pakistan today is undergoing. Her far sightedness has today saved us of at least the east of India being relatively terrorist free.

-The era of nationalization
1969 was a year that marked nationalization of banks. Many a financial expert verbally crucified Mrs.Gandhi citing collapse of public confidence in banking infrastructure followed up with predictions of mass economic collapse.
Today, nationalized banks are the financial arteries and capillaries of this nation. Even small villages have access to a nationalized bank thereby allowing for small savings sector to hugely benefit from the services of the country's financial infrastructure. In addition to this, nationalized banks have also proved to be a powerful instrument in government machinery when it comes to doling out monetary relief, stimulus packages and other such government mooted aid measures to the poor and downtrodden. Today, these very banks help the city bound sons and daughters send money to their parents and relatives is the nook and corner of the country through simple network transfers.
One cannot refute the far reaching connotations Indira Gandhi's action in 1969.

-The family's that gave it all to the nation
Jawaharlal Nehru was in Prison when Rajiv Gandhi was born to Indira. He longed to see his grandson. He wrote to Indira that
" I would love to have a look at my grandson soon. I would be taken to court for renewing my remand to prison tonight. On the way back, the van will stop for a moment before the gates of the prison for the doors to open. You bring Rajiv to the gates and stand next to the lamp by the doors of the prison. I will try and catch a glimpse before the van rolls into the gates."

True to what he said Indira was there by the road lamp by the prison gates waiting for him to return. Night weather in Delhi at that time was cold and foggy. In a turn of events, Nehru was not brought back to the prison until early next morning. However, when Nehru arrived at 4am that morning, he checked to see if his daughter was still around with the infant. To his surprise there she was under the lamp shade as he had instructed with just a shawl to protect the infant from the biting cold of the morning. She uncovers the baby and in an instant the van is gone.
Nehru later writes to Indira saying .. "I could not catch much as a glance at the baby, the mist played truant. However, I could make out that he has inherited our pinkish skin tone and the nose..."
If we stop for a moment and think that they gave even the simplest of pleasures of life that we enjoy so much today, and all of that they gave up for the cause of the nation. We must be thankful today that we are able to enjoy the pleasures of our normal lives thanks to the sacrifices made by our leaders.

In an age when misdeeds get more publicity thanks to selfish politiciking, I wrote this piece share what I heard so that we also revitalize our beliefs in our great leaders by learning the good things they have done, but also to remind myself that I'm truly blessed to have live in the land of mahatmas.

Nature works its magic

I Love going on nature tours. But, its been four years since I ventured out for a nature trip. Two children and and all consuming project work being the reasons.
Tall trees blocking the sunlight with the smell of raw earth emanating from the ground that is slightly wet from the previous evening's drizzle. The random smell of the berries and thorn bushes that mingle with the breeze, the forlorn call of the mynah calling out its partner piercing the silence. The ominous looking hornet nests threatening to sting you should you get anywhere near them, the suddenness in the change of terrain from soft soil layered with decomposed leaves to rocky terrain with sudden drops , the exotic plants and vines that creep out of nowhere and climb up all the way to the sky forming wonderful loops that serve as an impromptu swing for the kids, the large leaves of some exotic plants that appear as though they were time transported from the Jurassic age, the sudden streams that emerge from nowhere and make their own path as though saying, we are visiting, just like you, the freshness of the unpolluted water that tempts you to take a sip, large mushrooms that look like the wonderland Lewis carrol spoke about was indeed here!
The freshness of the atmosphere that simply swamps your senses, unclutters your mind, wipes away your worries and puts an automatic smile on your face without you even realizing, recharging your brain cells with new energy and invigorating your body with confidence and belief that the beauty of this world is much bigger than the pettiness of the problems life throws at us.

Farmville, is a small game in facebook that allows players to do some simple farming such as planting seeds and watch them bloom into a full grown plant and reap it. It also allows you to design your farm layout with farmhouse, scarecrow, barns with cows and pigs! Watching a variety of fuits and vegetables grow from a seed to a beautiful plant gives a sense of micro elation.

Its a small compensation for the drudgery of city life, but its a tonic nevertheless and I have only facebook to thank for it.